Sorry I haven’t written lately…
but I’m trapped in this never ending nightmare. I can’t work, I can’t sleep, I can barely type at all. This latest Fibro-flare is really packing a punch. The pain at night is unbearable. I can’t shake the brain fog so…
When I explain why I haven’t written sooner… you will understand my Spoonie friend.
Now if I wrote that in a letter to the average person, we all know what they’d be thinking….
“she looks fine”
“she’s just negative”
“she’s always claiming to be sick”
“she’s just making excuses”
You see it in their eyes when they look at you and so I am often dishonest about the way I am feeling. When asked how I am I usually respond with “fine and you?” I rarely let them know that I’m in a disabling amount of pain All The Time.
If I get even the slightest chill it sets off a chain reaction of a deep radiating achy pain, especially at my trigger points.
Speaking of Trigger points, my hands hurt so intensely that if I bang them even slightly, tears well up in my eyes.
I could sing the Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, Interstitial Cystitis, Graves Disease, Previously Hyper but now thanks to radiation Hypoactive Thyroid, Gout, Psoriasis, Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue, Depression, Autoimmune Disorders Blues and they would never get it.
You my Spoonie Friend, you know what it’s like. You understand the pain and illnesses we share are not invisible to us. They are physically very very REAL and I understand you.
We get it. We get each other.
This is a letter of thanks…Thank you Spoonies for being in my life. I am grateful for each and every one of you.
I wish you days filled with so many spoons you can’t count. May your spoons runneth over.
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