“Fall Blends” oil pastel by Shelley Lockwood
Fall was one of my favorite seasons.
Some days, damp ones to be more precise are rarely pleasant or enjoyable.
Last week the dull ache got less dull and today the coldness to the core started. As the cold slowly seeped deeper and deeper, the pain spread and intensified. Other than applying some heat and layering up, there isn’t much to do except wait. Round and round it goes, where it stops nobody knows. Wait to see where the pain will settle, and how far spread it’ll be.
Waiting to me, basically boils down to having no control over what happens next.
I think one of my biggest struggles is wondering…am I the only one? I mean I know I’m not the only one learning to LIVE with Fibromayalgia (or what I usually refer to as the “F” word).
I know I’m not the only one hurting all day every day. I know I’m not the only one tired beyond belief pretty much most of the time.
What I mean is am I the only one that feels like control is slipping away? I have always had a plan. Sure flexibility (ha ha) was necessary due to life’s little curve balls, but now I don’t know from one day to the next what I will physically be able to do.
Really, I never actually know from one hour to the next what this wonderful chronic condition has in store for me.
Am I the only one? The only one having difficulty accepting this new found loss of control?
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