By: Dr Alex Robber
Hello Old Friend, darkness. I miss you.
I miss you. My chest has an invisible heavy weight, I can’t breathe.
Pain is so serious and crushing for the soul that it feels like a mountain falls on me.
Even the slightest touch of fear of getting hurt has taken over every nerve of my body. My hands burn hot while my feet are exceedingly cold. My vision is so upset, it feels like I’m blind.
Even though I get the feeling that the entire world is left at me and there’s nothing I can do but there’s a will that make me go every day. I wake up feeling like I died last night and Reborn again last night. I’m trying to pull my way out desperately, but all the effort is pointless and exhausting.
Even though I try to get out of this miserable pain, my clawing becomes slower and less efficient. All the time I feel tired and can’t get rid of all this pain and tiredness.
I wake up every day, hoping it would be better this day than the past one.
I feel better than most days sometime, but for me some days are the worst.
If I have a good day and go shopping or cleaning my home, I understand it’s going to be worse for me the next 3 days, filled with miserable pain and fatigue.
1. What Having a Chronic Illness Feels to Me
In the past, I have repeated the process of being buried alive many times. Let me clarify what it means to me buried alive.
Usually when an individual is diagnosed with fibromyalgia he / she wonders what it is and how can I get rid of this miserable pain and tiredness. You begin to discover responses to your issues using social media and other platforms, you begin to meet individuals with the same disease as you do, but you become desperate and feel broken hearing after knowing there is no adequate cure for it. For the remainder of your lives, you’re in it. Your days and night are so wretched that you feel buried alive.
For over 20 years, I have been suffering from fibromyalgia. I went through this phase and felt many times that my heart was broken. Sometimes pain, fatigue, depression, and anxiety are so miserable that I’d believe I’m forever in darkness, but at the end of each tunnel there’s light and I’m hoping to discover it.
2. Experiencing the Darkness
I’ll share some of my experiences below. You also had these experiences to go through:
For a normal person, every day is a fresh day, but for us sufferers, every day is as miserable or even worse than the past one. You wake up in pain and tired and go to bed in the worst pain.
I attempted a lot of medicines and home remedies, but everything was in vain. There are many side effects of medication that make it even more hazardous.
As physicians generally recommend, I have attempted many therapies and yoga courses, but rather than alleviating pain, they appear to contribute to it.
My family also contributes with their hurtful words to my pain. One of the most common lines I heard was “You don’t look sick, you look good.”
I’ve spent this miserable disease thousands of dollars. It’s also a problem for me to experience economic problems owing to fibromyalgia.
Friends and family seem to doubt me because of my situation each time I cancel plans with them. I wanted to be invited to events, but because of my illness I can’t join them.
In this, my family has refused to give me economic support and it feels like I’m being dumped.
Everyone in the workplace considers me with creepy eyes as if I were some sort of alien.
My family thinks that I’m a burden on them because I don’t do anything, just stay at home and cause difficulty.
Knowing that I’m like this for the remainder of my life causes me to go into anxiety and depression.
People suggest that I embrace weight loss fitness system. They don’t understand how difficult it is to think about it.
3. Finding the Light
As I described above, I hope you get a nice image of my situation. This is all the dark side, but on the bright side let’s look now.
I get a day when my pain is less than usual once in a blue moon, that day is no less than a miracle. You can wander around the house or take a shower, etc.
Sometimes I get news of a fresh treatment or medication on the internet and believe this might be the search for the cure medical society. Unfortunately, all these therapies and medicines only provided temporary relief.
A friend’s or a colleague’s consultation can also create your day. Even though they can do nothing about it at least if they know your pain, there may be great assistance in kind phrases. This feels like shoveling away from me on the earth.
If your manager or boss understands your pain, he / she is likely to relieve some job burden from you.
Doctors don’t understand what I’m going through these days. It’s also a blessing to have a physician who truly understands your suffering.
All in all, we can’t always rely on the good days or opportunities for new therapies, nor hypothesize them. The only constants that can be our own quest for beauty, hope, and other people’s kindness to assist us keep the dark at bay.
4. A Helping Hand
Only someone with chronic disease can really comprehend another chronic sufferer’s pain, so if you encounter someone with fibromyalgia, be polite to them and ask if they need your assistance. Helping someone often makes you feel happier with yourself. Often people with chronic disease ask for assistance are awful, but we need your assistance. Stay, and assist each other, strong fighter. Stay Healthizes!